10 June 2010
pink meringues and lovely bones
On request, I made this for Lucy the other day. A-ha, a big floofy pink saccharine-dripping meringue tutu dress. Can you believe that smile?
That little show of genuine happiness combined with me just having finished watching The Lovely Bones is making me seriously reconsider what is important right now. I absolutely love sewing, no doubt about it, but when I get scratchy with Lucy for wanting attention as I am in the middle of sewing a garment, well it just doesn't sit right with me. It just feels wrong and mean and not what a mother should be doing. The biggest battle for me, a stay at home mother, is being a mother but also having something that is just for me too. And that's why I sew and started the Etsy shop. At times it is wonderful, but there are times when the pressure makes me wonder what I am doing this for (a short life perhaps?). Plus my friends often wonder if I have dropped off the earth. There is only so much one can do in a day, especially a mother.
When I get to the point where I am old and grey (rather than young and grey) and sitting in a rocking chair on a wooden porch on a quiet leafy street (yes!) I'm sure I won't be saying I wished I sewed more, rather that I wished I spent more quality time with my daughters. I still want to sew, I just need to figure out a good balance.
So, my goal in life? To avoid disheartened little faces at all costs; and to get as many smiles from Lucy and Audrey (not to mention my husband), as good if not better (if that's possible) than the ones in these photos. If it means making a gaudy pink meringue dress every week then by god that's what I'll be doing.