On request, I made this for Lucy the other day. A-ha, a big floofy pink saccharine-dripping meringue tutu dress. Can you believe that smile?
That little show of genuine happiness combined with me just having finished watching The Lovely Bones is making me seriously reconsider what is important right now. I absolutely love sewing, no doubt about it, but when I get scratchy with Lucy for wanting attention as I am in the middle of sewing a garment, well it just doesn't sit right with me. It just feels wrong and mean and not what a mother should be doing. The biggest battle for me, a stay at home mother, is being a mother but also having something that is just for me too. And that's why I sew and started the Etsy shop. At times it is wonderful, but there are times when the pressure makes me wonder what I am doing this for (a short life perhaps?). Plus my friends often wonder if I have dropped off the earth. There is only so much one can do in a day, especially a mother.
When I get to the point where I am old and grey (rather than young and grey) and sitting in a rocking chair on a wooden porch on a quiet leafy street (yes!) I'm sure I won't be saying I wished I sewed more, rather that I wished I spent more quality time with my daughters. I still want to sew, I just need to figure out a good balance.
So, my goal in life? To avoid disheartened little faces at all costs; and to get as many smiles from Lucy and Audrey (not to mention my husband), as good if not better (if that's possible) than the ones in these photos. If it means making a gaudy pink meringue dress every week then by god that's what I'll be doing.
I am no "pink" fan, but this is hardly gaudy. I find it reminiscent of the dress that SJP wears in the opening credits for SATC. Very of the moment I'd say!
ReplyDeleteAll your blog posts point to exactly what you say you aim to be, a great mamma with happy, happy girls. I'm sure your hubby would give you a big thumbs up too!
Jen in Melbourne
PS - I watched The Lovely Bones at the beginning of the year, in Paris I think, where it had an earlier European release date. Thinking of Paris made me smile :)
PS - Thongs, very tres chic Lucy!
ReplyDeleteHey there,
ReplyDeleteBeautiful dress, beautiful smile!
I know what you mean...I get the same feelings when I'm studying and telling Ella-rose to go off and play. Getting a good life balance is the key to a happy household...not to mention a key to a happy mother and wife!! Something i am constantly working on :) xx
i like this. balance is so hard, but so important too. don't forget to remember all that you DO do as a mum now and already... its clear from your photos Lucy and Audrey are such loved and happy girls! I know there are scenes we all leave out of our blogs, but if you weren't an amazing, loving mum, you couldn't show us all the sweetness of your girls. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like this so much often. Last night, even, I made a commitment to myself that I would spend more time enriching our family life and focus on making memories for when I'm old.
ReplyDeleteHello- I've been following your blog for some while now and enjoy reading about your sewing, fashion and family ventures.
ReplyDeleteLucy sure is adorable in her new dress- look at that beautiful smile!
I completely understand your struggle for balance- it shows a good heart to re-evaluate yourself here and there. I think it's quite healthy to have a passion outside of home and family. I believe we grow and our children benefit by seeing the world doesn't completely revolve around them 24/7. The danger lies in when that hobby/interest/job etc starts to overshadow our first priority- and I think it takes moments of reflection such as yours to be sure we're still maintaining our goals and vision in life.
From afar and from what one can glean from a blog I think you're doing a wonderful job raising your children- they seem to love life and have a mother who is there and cares and shows them love each and every day.
Just thought I'd stop by and share a few of my thoughts on reading this post :)
I totally understand how you feel. I can't imagine it being easy. I love to sew and I have picked it up more since I became a fulltime mom. It makes me feel productive and it's relaxing. My 3 year old daughter doesn't nap hardly anymore and it makes it hard for me to have that break during the day to do something I like. So I sew at night now. As soon as my girls go to sleep I'm in my room sewing. I sew pretty much everyday. Depending on how tired I'm at night, sometimes I only sew for 30 minutes, but that is good enough for me. Love the princess dress!
ReplyDeletelucy looks lovely (and VERY happy),
ReplyDeleteI am sure you will find a good balance Catherine.
x
I was have the exact same thought process myself last night after putting the kid to bed. I get a little too snappy with the wee one when I am trying to finish a project and she is pulling at me to help her with something - I was feeling really bad about it.
ReplyDeleteI love what you said about getting as many smiles from your girls as possible - that is a good aim.
So many wise words said here, thanks!
ReplyDeletejen in Melbourne, now you mention it it does remind me a bit of the SATC dress. I think it will look more mod when it's finished and shortened. Lucy is oblivious to all the undone-ness and loose threads though!
And the purple hav's - we discovered right before taking these photos that her little pink ballerina shoes pinched her feet.
Yes, Sarah, you're right - like anything it's a matter of frequent re-evaluation. Well put.
I met a lady in the park yesterday and she was a single mum with a 4 yr old. She admitted that her daughter spent a lot of time in front of the TV when she had to study. I didn't think for a minute what a bad mother she was, just that she was doing what she had to do. Her daughter was well-spoken, intelligent and very happy. I think it's easier to be harder on oneself than on others. But then it's how you're feeling about yourself that is the best indicator, not comparing yourself to others.
And Bella - I, too, need to sew every day. My machine gets it's big service next week and I couldn't bear to have it out of the house for up to a week, so it's got a special pre-booking. It must be an addiction!
i completely understand and feel this post. i think i am at the same place... balancing is so difficult, but it is the sweet little ones that are most important!
ReplyDeleteI struggle with wanting to feel productive and like I have something to offer often after I have cleaned up spilled milk 13 times in one day and picked up the same toys 347 times in one week. Then I see the change in their little faces when they know I am focused on something else for too long. I try to condense the other things in my life to napping times and when I know they are getting as much love being watched by Matt.
ReplyDeleteI have these two quotes near my desk for when I get caught up in other things. The first is:
“Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.”
The second:
"Nothing is worth more than this day."
They both really help me refocus my priorities. If it's the custom orders that are so daunting, maybe just offer a few pre-made styles when you find a fabric or pattern you can't resist.
Lucy looks beautiful by the way! You should see the things Katherine insists on wearing now. She wears glasses with no lenses and I know it's just the beginning.
I remember my mother making me a dress when I was that age and the sheer joy I felt for months as I wore it to death.
ReplyDeleteI also remember as she would sew I would sit on the floor with my own little scraps of material that I would sit and pin and sew as she worked. Not so sure that would work with the littler one around but as they get bigger it might.
amen. It's easy to forget why I'm at home these days. You have to cherish when you get those genuine ear-to-ear smiles, or a good belly laugh.
ReplyDeleteit is hard to find balance between doing something you love to do for yourself (sewing, creating) and not feeling like you're giving your kids the brush off at times when you're involved in work. the pink dress is brilliant because it combines both, something you love to do for someone who has your heart. i feel the exact same way you do catherine, especially being an "older" mom. life's just too short to miss these quick years they're at home. i'm taking a big break from etsy soon. made some provisions in the meanwhile and setting some "office hours" soon here in the kitchen/studio. in the end i could give a toss about dresses. i want to grow old knowing my kids feel confident and loved, and remember they had my full attention.
ReplyDelete