waiting.....

Every twinge and pang is analysed, I feel arthritic when I wake up during the night due to swelling in the hands and feet, and I need to sit for a bit before I stand up for fear of falling over. Am I pregnant or a geriatric?!

After walking around a bit in the morning I feel somewhat normal again though, thank goodness. As I think the birth is imminent I decided to snap a few more photos of myself, now 38 weeks 1 day. Photoshop is so much fun (and makes the photos more palatable for anyone who is not Lucy or Lucy's Dad).

Blue tones today.

stripe skirt

Remember that stripe skirt I was wearing in an earlier post? I knew my mother would bite...

"Be careful now you are largish wearing that ghastly designer skirt in case it gives way under the strain. I would hate to see it ripped in half. Not. Perhaps you could cut it up to line a basket for Metro. Just a suggestion. "

Hilarious! I don't think Scanlan and Theodore will be too hurt by this.

P.S. Metro is our cat.

the name...

Almost 38 weeks, and still Lucy Deux does not have her own name. This is putting it out there for insults and accolades, but 'he' likes Charlotte and I like Juliet. Also Imogen, which was on our list last time (well, my list). Why is this so darn hard? The one thing a single-parent family would have going for them (I did say 'one' not to make light of it) is being able to choose any name they like.

I was talking to a good friend today about her birth experience (sorry to make this blog birth-heavy right now, but it's pretty close now so can I be excused?), and I was so impressed that she went drug free. I assumed she had a high pain threshold and that maybe it wasn't the worst labour in the world. Not so. She told me the pain was so severe it made her sick. I am now ever more in awe of her. I think anyone who does it the way nature intended (if they are able) is fantastic, but to do so without drugs is incredible.

One other thing she mentioned was that her 'birth outfit' almost got ruined. Before having gone through the experience of birth I kinda new it was going to be a clothes-ruiner, so enquired further. Turns out she wore a super Dolce & Gabbana swimsuit, intended for the pool but worn during labour! R, you are such a star xx

And on the topic of pain-relief, a dear reader left this comment on an earlier post of mine.

"...there are no prizes for enduring the most pain in childbirth. And trust me, it won't matter a whit to your kids how they got here."

I'd like her to know that it made me think that if I really feel I need pain-relief then it's not the end of the world. So thankyou!

thirty-seven weeks

It's really hot here, and I find it difficult to stay at Lucy's park longer than half an hour (truth be told I actually drive the 5 minutes there now with her as it's hilly and hot and sticky and at times I seriously feel like I will go into early labour (probably not a bad idea now though)).

My last pregnancy was throughout Winter, which was rather nice. I read your temperature goes up at least a degree when pregnant which might explain my severe 'wiltiness' when I set foot outside. I am managing the last days/weeks(?) of my pregnancy with odds and sods of clothing but today am wearing all ''normal' (pre-maternity) clothes. I really hope my Scanlan and Theodore skirt looks okay after Lucy Deux is born. I bought it quite a few years ago and it looks the same as it did when I bought it. It's one of my favourite articles of clothing. My mother absolutely hates it. Sorry Mama, but I'm not about to give it up!

And this was a candid bedtime shot taken probably days or at most a week before Lucy arrived. I look much more rested than I do now (at least I think I do, and I know I was). Pregnancy is not as enjoyable when you have a little one to run around after (and carry everywhere...). What is with toddlers that after months of struggling to walk and finally succeeding, they insist on being carried everywhere?

photo play

One of the fun things about pregnancy is being able to take ridiculous photos of yourself with your temporary body 'disproportions'.

I took this photo the other day, mostly for my sister, as she declares I have 'chip feet', i.e. very narrow. Sometimes she swears I wobble about on them which I wouldn't do if they were of normal width. This photo looks somewhat like a rather fluffy (read: big/round) chicken looking down to her feet. You would think I have better things to do (like pack my hospital bag) than play around with silly images in Photoshop, but Photoshop is just too good to resist sometimes.

I really want to get a picture of me in my bikini before Lucy Deux is born. Preferably running. I could really have some fun with that one..

original image

images manipulated in photoshop

changes

Do you ever say to yourself, I wish I were a kid again? That there would be nothing to worry about - no money hassles, no relationship stresses...

If you are a parent, then you’ll know this isn’t true (well at least I know it isn’t). The amount of stress Lucy shows when I tell her it’s time to leave the park, or that the iceblocks aren’t set yet, or there’s no chocolate at dinnertime you would think it was the equivalent of your home burning down! It’s all relative.

I’ve just read Jenny's latest post about the change going on in her life, and it made me remember a time of big change for me – back before Lucy was born, and her Dad and I separated. I went to live in a ramshackle cottage in the middle of nowhere (I was a medical rep and on the road, so was able to live pretty much anywhere, and not be confined to the City). When the morning sun rose over the hills I couldn’t think of a better place to be, sitting on my tiny, rustic front deck. When night came, and it was pitch black I sometimes felt scared witless and alone. Some nights were spent in tears. Others writing or singing along with music TV and a few really tasty, effervescent brandies.

But no wonder, as a lot of change was taking place, and looking back it was the best thing I could have done at that time. My residence there wasn’t for a long time, just a summer or so, and the extremes of jubilation (the sheer peace and tranquility of the area) and trepidation were actually really good for me. Getting through that time really made me feel I could do anything I wanted. After shifting all my gear out to this country cottage, four months later I was shifting it all back again into the city, into a one bedroom house. Ordinarily I would have thought ‘I’ve only just moved to the country, I can’t move again yet’. Well, why not? The country had served its purpose and it was time for me to make my next move. I think life is a series of adventures, and feelings of being out of balance, discomfort, discontent, poor health, etc, are all signs that something need to change.

It’s funny how other people say things that make you think they know you better than you know yourself. I still remember a friend saying at least 10 years ago how she could see me barefoot, playing with kids, in a very natural environment. Back then I always had daydreams about living in a big city like New York, so flashy and fun. But deep down I knew she was probably right. Still do.

As I am about to go through the whole birthing process again, I do wonder if it will be any kinder to me this time. Lucy’s was a bit rough but I’m just glad that we both eventually made it out the other side and are now happy and healthy. I would like to think I can manage the pain better this time, hopefully without an epidural. I’m re-reading The Gentle Birth Method in the hopes visualisation and other wonders of the mind can get me through it alone. And maybe some homeopathy. Fingers (really, really) crossed!

A happy, carefree Lucy

something for Lucy and Lucy Deux

Lucy's just had this made for her; it's a Marc Jacobs light-weight print knit fabric that I've been holding on to for quite some time now, with the addition of a knit waistband. Think I'll have to make one for myself as it'll be great for feeding the new baby.

Lucy is resisting trying on new clothes now (as you might be able to tell from these shots, the pick of the bunch). Maybe it's the heat, or maybe, like the shop, she is on holiday too.

And this is a basic long kimono shirt that I've made for the baby out of a cotton knit (colour is vintage cream, i.e. quite chalky). I'll play around with coloured top-stitching for the next one. This one's a bit wrinkled as Lucy's own 'baby' has been wearing it round the house...

Having already been through the rigors of dressing one tiny infant (under 6lbs), I'm hoping to dress Lucy Deux in only kimono bodysuits/tops for starters. Newborns are so floppy so I'm really not keen on trying to dress her in a standard one-piece bodysuit. The tie front garments are easy - lay it out flat, pop the baby on top and then tie or dome it up. And being Summer here, I figure it's best to go with a long top/dress as no doubt Lucy Deux will need to be sunbathing away the jaundice. I'm thinking pants might be a bit cumbersome and possibly unnecessary in our weather.

An Inconvenient Bump

I am officially now an older mama. I turned 36 yesterday, but it's only a number right. I always hear people say they feel forever young. Now this is true, but then as I flick through, say, Vogue magazine and bask in the wonder of a model's dewy skin or silky hair, I find out that these people really are 20 (and younger still, quelle horreur) and in fact 'aging' (subtle or otherwise) doesn't give a rats that you think you still feel 20; it will bestow upon you the aging that you deserve.

The last week I've been sewing bassinet sheets, more clothes for Lucy (stop already) and also a couple of things for me. I made a dress which I really liked (based on my smock dress pattern) but with pockets and a slimmer fit, but after trying it on realised my 36 weeks pregnant stomach makes everything look ridiculous and hacked it into a shirt which I can actually wear right now. Of course I regret doing it, but I always make a pattern just in case (which I keep as is, or modify) so maybe I'll give it another crack once my body becomes my own again.

Dress, before
Shirt, after

Too Big, Too Small, Just Right?

I've had numerous scans throughout this pregnancy due to suspected placenta previa (it's low lying). The second to last scan was a month ago and I remember listening to the lady reading out the baby's measurements and thinking 'what??'. The head is how small? Apparently the head circumference falls in the bottom 2 percentile (meaning pretty much no other baby has a head as small (my interpretation, not the Doc's). And to make it sound even more comical, the abdomen was in the 75th percentile (meaning only 25% of babies have a larger abdomen). So here I am picturing this baby with a pint sized head and a rotund belly. Will it look like me in my pregnant state, I wondered? Is it because I have not religiously worn only maternity pants, sometimes opting for my pre-pregnancy jeans (somewhat uncomfortable), and that I have stunted the head growth? Kind of like how a plant doesn't grow any bigger than the pot it is in? My man thinks I am bonkers as he listens to my drivel. He's probably right, though I just blame it on pregnancy hormones not to mention natural curiosity. And another scan today (the last, thank goodness) confirmed her head is still in the bottom percentile.

To add substance to my wild thoughts, my mother kindly told me she had a dream not too long ago about the baby being born with a golf-ball sized head! Thanks Mum.

Baby Bed

If you don't think about the expenditure itself, buying gear for a new baby is actually rather fun! Much like small-scale one-room interior decorating. In the cot department, I always wanted the Stokke Sleepi but economic sense got the better of me and I bought a white Touchwood. I saw a Stokke Sleepi again not too long ago and felt pangs of regret. With no sharp edges it's bound to have nice feng shui. And if you are short on space, then a cot with rounded corners would surely work better than a rectangle cot.

Stokke also make the coolest looking change table I've even seen. It doesn't scream 'baby room!' so much as others do. I opted for a chest of drawers that has a separate removable change table on top - perfect for conserving space and I don't have two large pieces of furniture (with one sooner or later becoming redundant).

Stokke also make the Xplory, the rather odd looking (in my opinion) stroller. One minute I think it looks cool, the next rather goonky. It's certainly (again, in my opinion) one for the shops and nowhere too taxing.



Having already bought furniture for Lucy, the newborn will be sharing most of it. I still need to organise a big bed for Lucy but I have at least 4 months to do that before No 2 will be needing her cot. I may commission my clever father to make one...sure he doesn't have anything else to do apart from make Lucy dollhouses, ride-on toys, etc... Love you Dad!