I was talking to a good friend today about her birth experience (sorry to make this blog birth-heavy right now, but it's pretty close now so can I be excused?), and I was so impressed that she went drug free. I assumed she had a high pain threshold and that maybe it wasn't the worst labour in the world. Not so. She told me the pain was so severe it made her sick. I am now ever more in awe of her. I think anyone who does it the way nature intended (if they are able) is fantastic, but to do so without drugs is incredible.
One other thing she mentioned was that her 'birth outfit' almost got ruined. Before having gone through the experience of birth I kinda new it was going to be a clothes-ruiner, so enquired further. Turns out she wore a super Dolce & Gabbana swimsuit, intended for the pool but worn during labour! R, you are such a star xx
And on the topic of pain-relief, a dear reader left this comment on an earlier post of mine.
"...there are no prizes for enduring the most pain in childbirth. And trust me, it won't matter a whit to your kids how they got here."
I'd like her to know that it made me think that if I really feel I need pain-relief then it's not the end of the world. So thankyou!
Lucy is so cool! What a dude. I had a real issue with the whole epidural / pain relief thing as well. I really, really, really wanted to do the whole birth thing without any but 15 hours into a 24 hour labour I was, literally, begging for an epidural. After the birth I was not disappointed at all that I had 'let myself down'. In fact, I really enjoyed it when my wee man made his entrance because I could feel no pain, only the most amazing love / relief / overwhelming joy I had ever experienced. I'm sure it would have been a different story if I was feeling the 2nd degree tearing happening downstairs!
ReplyDeleteHi Catherine!
ReplyDeletePlease, please, don't get trapped into the thought that giving birth without pain relief makes you a better or stronger mother! Giving birth and caring for a newborn is already a tough experience without these unnecessary problems! Of course it is possible to do it without drugs, women did it for thousands years. But why? Is it necessary? No one in the world would think about going to the dentist without anesthesia...But it is assumed that a women should give birth "naturally". I think there is still a lot of rhetoric around birth. So please go ahead and take advantage of every help can be offered to you, there is nothing wrong with it!
I agree with Claudia, I had to have an epidural, after wanting to be "just like my mother" and desperate to be strong and have no drugs. My labor did not go well, and like the first post, had a extremely long labor. I couldn't have been there for Bella in the early hours to bond, I would have been overwhelmed even more with exaustion. I guess my thought is, get the drugs, and have a lovely birth :)
ReplyDeleteBest, Sara and Bella
matthew, my doula, and i are planning on an intervention-less delivery, but we've also decided on a code word so they know whether i want an epidural/ narcotics or whether i want to try something else to get through contractions.
ReplyDeletei also have a very high pain-tolerance (root canal and wisdom teeth extraction with minimal novocaine, no thanks to my cheap dentist), but this isn't necessarily something to be praised.
my massage therapist and doula have both warned me about my pain-tolerance. pain is there for a reason, it tells you something is happening, possibly something that is dangerous (but not always). one reason why injuries happen is because people feel like they should 'push through' the pain. by ignoring pain signals, you can end up severely injured. it's similar to driving or working while tired, it can lead to silly mistakes or much worse.
that said, not all pain should be seen as a bad thing. as someone who has rowed competitively, i know that there are limits to what you can tolerate, but also that the body/mind is capable of amazing things.
i'm approaching delivery like a race--but only to a point! you have to pace yourself and stay focused in spite of the pain, but ultimately, if you need help, there's no shame in it.
as for names, we're still without one, too. i've given up for now, maybe when he comes i'll feel more inspired. charlotte, juliet, and imogen are all lovely.
oh i love the name juliet! fight for it!
ReplyDeleteI have a Charlotte, so obviously I like that name. :) Juliet and Imogen are also nice picks, though!
ReplyDeleteThe thing about drugs is that sometimes they may be the only way for you to be mentally present for the birth. Only you know what you can tolerate, and whatever you choose is great. I don't like to see mamas needlessly pressuring themselves.
You guys are all so cool, very encouraging comments. Thankyou!
ReplyDeleteClaudia - that's SO true about pain relief at dentists. A bit hypocritical don't you think of those who scorn pain relief during birth? I'd love to see them get a filling without a jab!
I really like the way Lucy and Juliet sounds together!
ReplyDeleteI love the name Imogen! It doesn't seem to be a popular name here in Canada, unfortunately.
ReplyDeleteMy first birth was in a hospital with an epi. and my second was a home birth with no drugs. I feel happy to have had a birth that was natural (for me) and completely the way i wanted it, in my home with family, friends. Being in the hospital is such a different experience and had I been there I may have asked for the drugs but with a home birth there is no option of drugs. My main concern with drugs being used in labor is that they can slow down the labor and lead to more medical interventions(this was a problem with my first birth). anyway, wishing you a wonderful birth and hope it turns out just the way you want it to be.
ReplyDeleteHave you seen "the business of being born"? I think you can watch it free on the internet. I thought it was really good and informative. Great to watch if you are considering a drug free birth.
I like Imogen.
All of your names are gorgeous....Have you asked Lucy what name she likes best?
ReplyDeleteThe best birthing advice I ever received (and there was alot!) was that it is only one day out of your life..... a healthy mother + baby outcome is all that matters.
i love all the names! i can't wait to hear what you pick... don't feel so bad to come home without one, we did it!!! not that this bit of advice is highly recommended!!!
ReplyDeleteoh, i tried to be brave without the drugs, but by 7cm, I just couldn't do it. I tried to go as far as I could, but gosh labor is just so so painful. No man would ever understand! I agree with all those who spoke above, you do what is best for yourelf and lucy two so that you can enjoy this wonderful moment!
lucy's wearing a little bracelet which is even more endearing! you're the greatest mum ever.
ReplyDeletedrugs. went so far that i wanted to die, begged for an epidural... never worked. gave up and felt the whole thing. your choice, doll... either way you gave birth. :)
I did it both ways, natural the first time (mainly due to circumstances)and I, too wanted to die. Terrible to say, but I think I would have taken ANYTHING if it would have taken the pain away. It was tortuous. When it was over I didn't even want to see my son as I was so out of sorts. Now how is that a bonding experience? The second time was bliss, no complaints whatsoever, we were joking and relaxed, it was beautiful. Everyone is different, your choice.
ReplyDelete